When it comes to money, we can often spend time focusing on how much we have (or don’t have), but rarely do we stop to think about the beliefs we have around money that may be impacting our lives in ways we haven’t even noticed.
A few weeks ago I was helping a friend with some financial challenges she was facing. She was feeling stressed, overwhelmed and straight-up fed up of chasing money to pay the bills and not even being able to enjoy the money she earned.
She said she hadn’t slept properly in months because she was up trying to figure out how she was going to make things work and felt really drained each day because of it.
Can you relate?
We went in depth with things and even spoke about other issues she was experiencing in life… When it hit me….
Her beliefs around money were quite destructive and negative… And I could directly see how it was resulting in the other challenges she was experiencing in her life.
I also noticed how her beliefs around money had a direct link to her overall happiness.
It wasn’t just the financial challenges that was creating an overall unhappiness with life… It was the underlying beliefs she had about money.
I started to analyse how far this went and uncovered countless examples from others whose negative money beliefs were impacting other areas of their lives and they couldn’t even see it.
It was at the moment I began to see patterns and common things that kept coming up over and over again.
The little-known and overlooked matter of money beliefs in relation to your happiness is something hardly anybody talks about.
But when you learn to shift your beliefs around money, you will notice how much your happiness levels shoot through the roof.
Below are the main three most overlooked ways I found that negative money beliefs can impact your overall happiness:
#1 - Straining your relationships
How many times have you been in a situation where you have lent a friend or family member money without actually wanting to, they promised to pay you back on a certain date but may have been a couple of days late or not at all…
Leaving you angry, full of frustration and fear of you being without the hard-earned cash you lent them. And also impacting the relationship you have with that person.
I know... i’ve been there in the past! After loaning out thousands to friends and worrying about it before the pay back date even arrived.
The thing is, our reaction to becoming fearful and frustrated can often stem from other underlying negative beliefs we have about money and our ability to earn or keep it for ourselves... Leaving us in a state of lack and amplifying our frustration towards the other person.
Yes, I agree. People should stick to their commitments when you lend them money.
But we also have to ask ourselves where our emotional reactions really came from and what impact they are having on our lives.
#2 - How you value yourself
So many things around us suggest that our money status equates to our self-worth, how successful we are and how respected we should be.
Well... this could be further from the truth.
If we believe that money is our marker for how important we are, then we are in for one rocky ride.
This reminds me of situations where somebody may have been in a high flying job, earning a decent salary. Feeling successful, feeling good about themselves and feeling like they ‘made it’.
Then comes along an unforeseen circumstance that led to them being made redundant or forced to take a shift in career path resulting in less income…
And as a result feeling like less of a person, viewing themselves as a failure and acting as if that were true… Even though they are exactly the same person.
We simply cannot afford to believe that money defines our self-worth, as this can spiral into a multitude of negative feelings and even potentially impact our health and wellbeing.
Your finances do not define your self-worth.
#3 - Feeling like we will never have enough
Growing up, I would hear family members say things like “money doesn’t grow on trees”. I’m sure you probably overheard something similar growing up.
Hearing things like this can often develop a sense of lack when it comes to finances. The belief that we will never have enough money, or that we will lose what we already have easily.
And other general fear-based thoughts... that quite frankly sucks!
Operating from those beliefs can lead us down paths where we accept jobs we don’t particularly like… Just to make sure there is no financial void. And considering we spend most of our time at work - This can become a huge roadblock to happiness.
Now, that's a recipe for feeling icky.
Of course, sometimes we can be in a position where we’re required to do work we aren't fully aligned with for practical reasons… But making those choices from a state of fear will often result in unhappiness and a feeling of being unfulfilled.
If you haven’t done this yourself yet, you will probably be able to spot somebody who has.
You see, the three points outlined above are really just the tip of the iceberg. So many of us make decisions and experience stress and anxiety in a variety of situations because of our negative money beliefs.
And it’s impacting and shaping our lives more than we are aware of right now.
Want to get started on changing your money beliefs? Here are three things you can do to get started:
- Become aware of the beliefs you actually have around money
- Decide if these beliefs are serving you or not
- Start shifting more towards beliefs that actually serve you
If you need some help with this, why not download our FREE one-pager worksheet on how to get started on changing your money beliefs.
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